Another failure...

Another month with an empty womb. Joy and revelation.

I know I shouldn't have expected much. We've been taking a break from all of the medical intervention while getting moved and settled into the new place... but my body really decided to throw me a curve this time.

When I'm not on drugs, there are generally about 10-11 days that lapse between the time the I ovulate and the time that lovely red dragon rears her ugly head. So you can imagine my excitement as 12 days passed, then 13, 14 and 15!

I'm not big on the whole pregnancy test thing for a number of reasons. Number one, those things can be expensive. Yes, I can get cheap ones online or at the $ store, but they're not always the most reliable. Secondly, it just flat out sucks seeing one lonely line month after month after month. So I just wait unless I've got reeeeeally good reason to think something might be happening.

Well, making it to 15 dpo seemed like a pretty good reason to me. So I let myself take a test, only to get the exact same result I get every single time. Sure enough, less than 30 minutes later The Hag was kicking down the door.

On to Cycle #22.

Ring experience…

I'm 37 years old and have had paranormal experiences my entire life. I've never really been afraid because it's always been there and nothing has ever seemed intent on harming me. I acknowledge it's presence and it tends to be satisfied with that. Barring a few experiences at my old house in Harrisburg. 

Now that we’ve just moved into the new apartment and D got all of our entertainment stuff hooked up to the internet, so I've been getting caught up on the last couple of seasons of Paranormal State via Netflix streaming while unpacking, doing laundry, etc.

Because I've been watching the show, D and I were discussing our own experiences over dinner a few nights ago. Since then, we've noticed the lights in the ceiling fan over our dining room table have begun to flicker on occasion. I checked to see if perhaps the bulbs were loose, but they were in tightly. 

Saturday night we went to bed as usual... nothing out of the ordinary. Until I woke up in the middle of the night because I could feel that my wedding rings weren't on my fingers any more. I opened my eyes enough to see my engagement ring dangling on my ring finger, but my wedding band was completely missing. Upon waking fully and checking the bed, I found my band hidden under my pillow.

Okay, here's what makes this weird:

My rings are not easily removed. I have to wiggle the rings and stretch my finger just to get them off. So I'm hard pressed to believe that I wriggled out of them in my sleep. I've also been married and wearing these rings for almost a year now and they've never come off before.

Also, the order in which I wear my rings. I wear my band first with my engagement ring second. I'm at a loss as to how I could have removed my engagement ring to get to my band, left my band under my pillow and then put my engagement ring back onto the tip of my finger... all in my sleep. 

I wondered if one of my rings possibly caught on the pillowcase while I was asleep. But if that's the case, then I would think that I should have woken with my band on instead as that's the ring I wear closest to my body, or both rings should've been under the pillow.

Things had been moderately quiet, barring the things at the house we just moved from… but people died there, so what do you expect? I found myself wondering if I was still sensitive.

Seems I may have gotten my answer.

Test

This is a test.  My husband setup Windows Live Writer for me and this is a test post to see if it works.

~N~

I'm pretty tired...

Times are tough. There's no doubt about that.

I've often read about difficult times in history. When people find kinship in their times of despair. The sentiment that "We're all in it now" overtakes the day and all heads are put together in the name of finding solutions for everyone. I've been waiting, hopefully. As they say, history repeats itself.

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that history has either opted to sit this one out or, more frighteningly yet, that we're encountering something altogether new and unknown.

Sadly, many of my "fellow Americans" seem to have little to no interest in finding solutions for all. Many seem to find no redeeming value in uniting with their fellow countrymen instead wishing to cut them off at the knees and dance while watching them bleed. I've seen heads stomped on, dollar bills literally thrown at a terminally ill man as he sat in peaceful protest and a level of disdain for one another that I cannot recall in my lifetime.

I'm tired of being told I'm not a "true patriot" because I come from a big city on the East Coast and I like books. I'm tired of being told that conservatives are the "Values Voters", as if conservative values are the only values in existence.

I'm tired of the never ending drumbeat of those demanding our president prove he was born in this country. I'm tired of people making Senior Citizens into bandits for cashing the Social Security checks they worked long and hard for, and I'm equally tired of the Senior Citizens who, upon cashing said check, wish to cut off the spigot for the next generation.

I'm tired of hearing about people who want their country back. Exactly which America would they like to go back to? The recurring theme seems to be the America where a grown black man could be called "Boy", a secretary could be smacked in the ass as a sign of a job well done and Woolworth could tell you that they weren't going to serve you a damn thing. The offense that pining for this time in history evokes seems lost on them.

I'm tired of the screaming and howling about the government "take over" of Detroit, all the while ignoring the millions of jobs that single move saved. I'm tired of "progressives" beginning all of their negotiations from a position of compromise. I'm tired of them being weak as water and allowing both their narratives and accomplishments to be perverted and twisted into mockeries of themselves.

I'm tired of intellect and the arts being demonized as if they are a scourge on the face of society while batshit crazy theories are spouted as if their tenants are as concrete as relativity and gravity. I'm tired of hearing the Right Wing wring it's hands in worry and fear. "Attention American People: We have a black Democrat as president. The country will spontaneously burst into flames at any given moment using the bodies of your infant sons and daughters as the fuel. You don't agree with burning babies, do you?!?!?!"

I'm tired of watching politicians tell bold face lies on television and the hosts who allow them to do it. I'm tired of politicians serving their corporate masters instead of the people who actually vote them into and out of office. I'm tired of the spin. I'm tired of the rhetoric. I'm tired of this complete and total breakdown. I'm tired in anticipation of the gridlock or possible impeachment inquiry that is yet to come.

You see, we have no more Statesmen. Long gone are the days when members of Congress argued heartily on the Senate floor by day, only to break bread together by night and come away with a compromise that further's the business of the people. They are far too busy burning the midnight oil devising the best campaign strategy for an election that's 2 years away.

It's a small wonder I'm so damn tired...

Oops