This time stings more... for a variety of reasons. My temps were one reason. They looked really good and parts of the pattern were different than usual, so hope crept into my heart. Then the decline started and I knew inside that it was over. I hoped my temps would rebound once I adjusted to the time change, but truly, after 2 days of declining temps, I knew it was only a matter of time.
Time. Something I feel that I have so little of. I worry how much it's working against me, how much time is actually left on the game clock and whether or not I can eek out a "win" before the whistle blows.
It's ironic... I made my mind up very early that I was NOT going to be an unwed teen mother. I was going to get married and then start a family. That was the right way, the responsible way to do things... and how I'm being rewarded for my responsible choices!
Sometimes I think if I were to make all the wrong choices... maybe then everything would fall into place... Because it sure seems like everyone else gets what they want easily enough. Babies are given to young girls who put them into dumpsters or to unbalanced women who drown them in bathtubs.
Life just feels a bit more unfair right now than usual.
1 comment:
Especially that's often how it turns out. I've been with my DH since high school. A girl my age got pregnant at the time and here she is married to the guy with 2 kids and I made the "right" choices and zilch.
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